Jan 07 2009
Franken Wins, Still Needs Moolah
The long, arduous, exhaustive, extremely dull Minnesota Senate vote recount is over. Has Bill O’Reilly’s head exploded yet? It’s almost official: Al Franken wins the Senate recount by 225, and the world is saved from certain destruction!
Republican loser (aren’t they all?) Norm Coleman is still leaving his sludge trail behind. Pale and wan these days, he’s now planning to drag this out as long as possible and sue for the votes he couldn’t win fair and square. He didn’t manage to steal this election! (No, of course I don’t really think he stole the election in 2002. Dick Cheney did that for him.)
Now the Senate has its first comedian/screenwriter/satirist. I wonder what kind of a senator Al Franken will be. He’s smart and he can write good books. I think he’ll do just fine. (As long as he leaves any pro-Israel bias behind). But first, he needs lots of money. More on that soon.
First, Senator Franken has to be certified and according to our governor, Tim Pawlenty, all legal challenges will have to run their course. That means we don’t have two senators in Minnesota for several weeks, or until Norm gets laughed out of court for his suing over “double voting”.
“Not every valid vote has been counted, and some have been counted twice,” Coleman said. “Let’s take the time right now in this contested race to get it right.”
Bullpucky! There are something like 194 previously-rejected ballots in question that may have been counted twice, though that is extremely improbable. More likely they just weren’t labeled correctly and some old election broad was asleep at the wheel. Even if every one of those questionable votes were given to Coleman, or taken away from Franken, Franken would still win. Every valid vote has been counted, hasn’t it? Come on Norm. I don’t see the point of taking this to court or anywhere else. But Coleman is now unemployed, and probably unsuited for any other type of work other than “ass-kissing politician”. What’s he going to do now, write his memoirs? Lawyer? (Yes that’s a verb). He’s still under investigation for funneling money from a friend through the company where his wife pretends to work and to his campaign, or somewhere. It might have gone into his kitchen remodeling. Norm’s got a very nice kitchen.
Maybe he can be a chef while he lawyers part-time!
Meanwhile, Al gets ready to take Washington by storm. But his campaign is so broke they can’t eat, so they sent me this email:
Dear Friend,
Yesterday, after a careful and thorough 62-day hand recount of nearly 3 million ballots, we finally were able to declare that Al Franken is the winner of Minnesota’s 2008 U.S. Senate election.
It was a great day for Al, Franni, and all of us here at TeamFranken [as you can see, Al landed on a flight deck somewhere on a boat on Lake Superior] [no, not really]
– and you made it possible with your incredible support over the two months of the recount and the nearly two years since our journey began. You made phone calls, knocked on doors, and helped us build a donor base of over 170,000 great progressives to ensure that we had the resources we needed to win. And with the margin so close, it’s safe to say that no effort went to waste.
Unfortunately, we’re not done, because instead of conceding, Norm Coleman has decided to go to court, filing a lawsuit in an attempt to overturn the result of the election. There’s nothing he can do to change the fact that more Minnesotans voted for Al Franken than for Norm Coleman, but we still need to protect our victory — and that means we need your help.
Yes, all because of Norm Coleman, the Franken campaign really needs money to fight this in court. I don’t see how Al could possibly lose a court battle like this, but in case there is any chance of that happening, it might be best to toss a dollar or two his way so I don’t have to. I swore I would not donate money to Democrats last year and I broke my promise, but I won’t send them any money this year. Really. So maybe YOU could do it for me?
It might be worth it for more flight suit pictures like this!
“Send me Money!”
